Why Do Couples Cheat?

According to a study published in the International Journal Of Sexual Health some of the top reasons for cheating were not being sexually satisfied and not being emotionally satisfied. Surprisingly the bottom reason of the list for cheating was love. Falling out of love with their partner or falling in love with someone new didn’t seem to be the main reasons people cheated although sometimes it can be as simple as falling out of love and a need to end the relationship. Having the breakup discussion can be hard and the easier, albeit cowardly, way would be making the other partner end it for you.

Here are a few more reasons people cheat in relationships:

Revenge sex for being cheated on already. This is a popular reason. Why someone wouldn’t just end the relationship if they knew they were being cheated on doesn’t make any sense to this author, however, people stay in relationships for all kinds of reasons. Sometimes they can’t financially afford to leave the relationship or they have children to consider.

Curiosity and boredom is another popular motivation.

Sometimes partners have a need to prove sexual prowess and sometimes they just like the thrill of the conquest.

Affairs can also be an avenue of self discovery to find a different part of themselves that may have been buried by the current relationship. People can often give up parts of themselves in a relationship to become the person their partner wants them to be. Sometimes this can lead to a sort of personal rebellion and a need to find the part that got lost in the relationship.

Fear of commitment or intimacy or of getting hurt is another reason people cheat. Finding ways to sabotage the relationship rather than expose themselves to their deepest and maybe even unconscious fears. Also self esteem issues could be at play where they need or are dependant on attention from others.

Neglect is another top reason for cheating. If you are in a relationship with someone you need to spend time with them and make them a priority in your life otherwise you shouldn’t be in a relationship at all if there is no space in your life for them. Psychological studies have shown that for children neglect is more traumatizing than physical abuse and neglected children usually develop complex trauma that is very difficult to treat. Neglect of an adult might not be exactly traumatizing the way it is to a child but it certainly will make the neglected partner feel like there is a disconnect and something missing in their life and can be very lonely and can make a person feel unloved and uncared for.

In this author’s opinion if you can’t get what you need from your partner even after good communication channels have been opened then instead of cheating simply end the relationship first and then find someone else who can meet your emotional and sexual needs. Cheating is so unnecessary.